You Might Be In A Toxic Relationship If...

People—especially those closest to you—have a profound impact on your well-being. We all experience the ups and downs of living with and loving imperfect people, but ultimately, our relationships should be a source of joy, not frustration.

A toxic relationship is one that has unhealthy dynamics and causes you distress or harm because you’re unsupported, manipulated or disrespected. While we all have our moments and seasons of selfishness, a truly toxic person will take everything, and give you nothing in return.

Don’t get me wrong—service and sacrifice are part of a good relationship; so are challenges and disagreements. A healthy relationship is founded upon mutual respect — where both contribute to the relationship equally.

So, how do we distinguish between the normal challenges of any relationship and a toxic one? Here are a few common signs of toxic relationships to watch out for:

You Might Be In A Toxic Relationship If...(fill in the blank using your own experience)

  • You might be in a toxic relationship if your home life is not a safe environment.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if there is poor or no communication.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you feel neglected/exploited.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you feel like you’re not allowed to be yourself.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you are never right and they are never wrong.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you feel belittled and ashamed.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you don’t receive empathy.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you have to make up for—or are blamed for their failures.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you feel controlled or manipulated.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if they are frequently under the influence of drugs and alcohol. 
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you are made to feel as though you are walking on broken glass every time you are around them.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you have to beg your partner to spend time with you.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you are isolated from your friends and family.
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if you have limited access to banking/finances and not able to make important decisions. 
  • You might be in a toxic relationship if they are a nay-sayer to all your ideas.
  • You ARE in a toxic relationship if your partner never says/does anything nice for you.
  • You ARE in a toxic relationship if you are being yelled/sworn at and lied to.
  • You ARE in a toxic relationship if you are being controlled, manipulated, told what to do, and being physically, emotionally and even sexually (yes sexually) harmed!

What to Do if You’re in a Toxic Relationship

It’s tempting to analyze other people’s behaviors, especially when someone hurts you. This is a complete waste of your time and emotional energy. Stop trying to figure them out. Instead, focus on what you have to offer; after all, if they didn't realize/appreciate it, someone else will...

Paint a picture of the kind of relationship you want:

You might be so used to a toxic relationship that you don’t even know what a healthy one looks or feels like. Allow yourself to imagine the way you deserve to be treated. 

A healthy, supportive marriage only works if you wake up everyday thinking, How can I make my partner’s day better—and if they think the same way about you! 

Life is not a 50/50 split of effort and love and service toward one another—it’s giving 100% each way. You both win when you put each others needs in front of your own.

Heed the Warnings:

If your relationship is toxic through and through, it might be time to end it—especially if you’re still in the dating stage. Getting married or having a baby won’t solve your problems—in fact, it will make them worse. If you’re just hanging around waiting, hoping your partner will change, you are wasting your time! 

Get out before you invest any more of your time and resources. Toxic People never change; they only get worse, then take you down with them—Remember that!

In Conclusion...

It's always best to get to know someone before you enter into a relationship them. It also may be a good idea to do a back-check; get to know if they've had an abusive past; had a pet or a child apprehended, or even a criminal record. It is also wise to examine how they interact with their with their family—and it is definitely wise to learn how they interact with their boss/coworkers.  Although it's nice to give someone the benefit of the doubt, it should never be at your own expense!




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