Blast from the Past

We all have someone from our past that did us wrong in some way. I myself have a couple. If it seems they go out of their way to avoid you, it's because they remember what they did to you, and there is a level of discomfort that lives inside of them.

I often wonder why they have any friends given their track record on mistreating people; Nevertheless, they do. Perhaps they mistreat their inner-circle - and their friends just "put up with it" because they suffer low self-esteem or don't want to be ousted...

Then again, I wonder if the derogater is kind to their inner-circle, if so, would they would be shocked to learn of this unacceptable side of them...? Once I knew of someone whose inner-circle knew the evil that lived inside of him. They prayed for him, but it was to no avail; he ended up with severe heart issues...

Mistreatment generally comes from someone who carries narcissist behavior. If you ever consider confronting your derogater, be careful, it will not go well with you. The Bible says in Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction..

I once had the displeasure of confronting one of my derogater's - all they did was squeal "liar" over and over again until I had forced them out of my house; it was disgusting. The idea of appearing perfect when your heart is full of evil, is purely of the devil. (See Isaiah 14:12-17, Ezekiel 28:12-19, John 8:44) 

It's a shame when people are fooled into believing someone is a good person when they're not. After all, many of these people end up involved in ministry and claim to do "the Lord's work". They seem to ignore all the most important point of the Bible that clearly indicates whether or not they actually belong to God (1John 4).

Confronting someone may cause you discomfort if you're not ready for their poor response. Understandably, you're hoping for a certain response that most likely will never happen. You need to know up-front that the person who hurt you will never be changed by your confrontation. People only change when they experience hurt and respond with humility as opposed to pride. 

You cannot influence a correct response, but you can raise their personal level of self-awareness. Your confrontation needs to be completely non-verbal. After all, you are not there to argue, but to make a statement. Being prepared for their poor response is crucial for your readiness. So how does one get ready?

• You carefully display self-acceptance
• You carefully display self-confidence
• You carefully demonstrate proactivity
• You create social stress

1) Self-acceptance is the ability to accept both your strengths and your personal faults without judgment. When you accept yourself, others naturally accept you as well. It is here that people realize that they are unacceptable.

2) Self-confidence is the difficulty in believing in a power greater than yourself. Without sounding too arrogant or cocky, it is the full assurance of oneself. When you display self-assurance, others naturally begin to doubt themselves.

3) Your derogater is the problem and problems are reactive. By being proactive, you possess the ability to see right through them - and they know it! They will react poorly towards you - even in front of their inner-circle. When you do something out of the ordinary, they will just let it all hang out. I've not only seen this, but I've also done this. The person and all their ugliness was there for all to see - and I stood there with a perfect posture and a smile on my face!

4) Social stress arises when a person realizes they do not have the resources to handle a situation maturely. If you want to really rattle them, find a way into their inner circle. Go to their workplace - have a need for the service (business) they offer, or show up at their church so when the pastor tells the congregation to greet one another, they turn around and see you!

Problem-people only know how to react - which is generally poor. All you really need to do is just stand in front of them - and they will fall apart! 

If their reaction is abusive, just leave them stewing in their chaos. If their reaction is discomfort, this is your time to comfort them - and restore the relationship.

These 4 points can raise someone's self-awareness level. They may never change, but at least they will know they have nothing on you-as will those around them (if they gossiped about you). When someone treats you poorly, it's because they are truly poor on the inside. Pity them - because they are most likely jealous of you in some way.