Pushing Back When You Get Pushed Around

Life hands us situations that we are not always prepared for; it's as though people see a "kick-me" sign on our back. People like pushing others around for some reason — it makes them feel superior I suppose...

If you're being pushed around, or continually challenged by someone, you'll want to take immediate action in a way that sends them a message, that you're not their bitch!

You easily accomplish this by applying intimidation techniques — just like they do in sports.

When you are aware of what intimidates such individuals, you are able to determine what technique to apply; after all, your goal is to make people think that you have something on them. 

So, here it goes:

Never Show Vulnerability

Many people show their feelings when they want to connect with you. Vulnerability shows that you’re human—and by revealing your feelings, people gain insight as to what you are about. This is what you'll want to avoid. Not everyone who wants to connect with you wants to befriend you; they could just want to challenge you!

Talk Less

Avoid talking about things that matter. If you're sucked into a conversation as such, magnify the things that matter to them, in a way that shows them, that such matters do not affect you. 

Be a good listener, but don't spoil your strength by babbling. Those who are strong have very little to say to those who are weak. When you respond, it's not to engage, but to advise.

Be Affluent

Never give off the impression that you are 'in need' of anything. If the person you're talking to has problems, always have an answer for each of them (this is key for intimidation because you are reinforcing their weakness). When you take this approach, you’ll show yourself strong, untouchable and intimidating.

Be Competitive

Being competitive is about winning—and winning is all about confidence.

Competitiveness gives you an edge. The more competitive you are, the more confident you are. It's your confidence that makes a person doubt themselves—all by itself!

When people doubt themselves, they will not be able to keep their head cool around you because their weakness is continually reinforced.

Show Grit & Whit

Consider this quote; "I was prepared for a battle of whit's with you, but you appear to be unarmed"! Turn all conversation into a debate. Connecting to the individual isn’t the goal here—the perfect comeback is...! 

Most people love talking about themselves, and as they do, they always reveal their problems. Since most are creatures of habit and are not susceptible to change (even when it's for the better), this gives you a double-whammy, because they will respect you because of your strength, and give in to you. 

Keep Clear of the Gang

Let people know that you operate on a different level from them. Decline invites to social gatherings. Let others know by way of your body-language that you have nothing in common with them. They will feel intimidated around you because they can't get to know you. This intimidating technique creates mystery—and people fear what, and who they don't know.

Shock-Value

Of course, this technique comes into play should you have a difficult encounter with an individual. People are creatures of habit, so anything unexpected has a strong effect. 

To create shock-value, your intimidating technique needs to be unpredictable, like they do in sports with shocking gestures. It's called, psyching people out. 

I have a dog, he, most of the time, is very happy-go-lucky; however, sometimes on walks, he lunges at people. He's harmless, but he does give off that sudden 'shock value'.

When applying shock value, use your own good judgment, be creative—and let your gesture be quick and strong. Don't do anything illegal—you have to maintain your innocence!

You Win When You Don't Fit In!

You win when you don't fit in. Why you may ask? Those who intimidate others do not have a lot of friends; they have enemies. Don't let that spoil your fun; people only hate those they are jealous of. Everybody pities the weak, but jealousy, you have to earn!

You are not supposed to "fit in" with them—after all you can't be intimidating to them if you're one friends with them. 

Use Gossip To Gain Information. 

Those who gossip have a loose tongue. Here's the kicker, they are also guaranteed to leak information about themselves too! 

What you will need to do is listen for cues and collect information to later use against them.

For example: they complain about a rainy day; you will automatically know they base decisions on how they feel. Another example is complaining about cost inflation; you will automatically know they they don't have a lot of money. 

Now, if you listen on a deeper level, you will hear cues that their conduct is lacking integrity—and those who lack integrity need to be avoided!

Show Pride 

Your posture/composure speaks; it's called body language. When talking to people, face them and maintain eye contact. Speak without hesitation using a steady strong voice (Authoritive).

Keep your gut sucked in/chest out/head high and shoulders strong. Keep your feet close together (don't ever get caught standing with your feet wide apart) — and never-ever fidget! Put your hands on your hips or talk with them (strong hand gestures). 

Never laugh unless it's sarcastically. Don't smile. Do show pity. This will reveal to them your confidence and self-assuredness.

It's all in how you present yourself; you need to see yourself strong before you can appear strong to others. This isn't necessarily to get people to become afraid of you — it's about demonstrating that you have it altogether — and there is nothing they can take from you (confidence).

In Conclusion...

Bear in mind that everyone has unmet needs, fears, self-doubts and weaknesses. People lash out only when they are unhappy, dissatisfied or have lost control of their lives. What they need is a to take a life-skills course and see a mental health professional — because they clearly have no self-management skills. Either scenario, if they are lashing out, it's only to satisfy a toxic emotion. Bear in mind they may become more aggressive — and if it escalades, your safety will need to be your only concern.

It is difficult to show kindness to such people — so it may be better to avoid them altogether. Just make sure you know the difference between someone who is seeking to challenge (bully) you, and one who is truly sending you a cry for help.

In Loving Memory of my late husband — Ian K Morton (July 20, 1967 — May 27, 2003) , who taught me to not take any shit from anyone.

In The Skinny